Today marks two years since I first started this Family Discipleship Email - with the aim of bridging the gap for you, our families, between what happens with Bay Kids on Sundays and the rest of your everyday week. I wanted there to be less of a sense of out-sourcing our children's discipleship and more of an opportunity for intentional integrated formation. What our children learn and experience on Sundays needs to be a part of a broader journey that you take together as a family at home, not just different parts of our community acting in silo.
And in this journey, you need to feel supported and resourced. So I want to acknowledge here that Family Discipleship is not easy, nor is it instant. My hope though is that it becomes simple and accessible for you; Not just another ‘add-on’ to overly complicate your lives and leave you feeling like you’re not doing enough, but instead something meaningful, woven in, and even a little bit joyful.
On Sundays I get to teach your children about who God is, what He’s like and what following Jesus looks like for them. And that continues to be a great privilege even amidst Bean Bag diplomacy, picking loom bands up off the floor, and managing curly questions. In Bay Kids we are in a constant process of introducing them to a God who knows them, sees them, and loves them through the meta-narrative of Scripture and the themes of Formation. Storytelling is pure joy at every age and it gives us all a thread to hold onto.
I hope that in all of this that our children will experience less unlearning than we battle with as adults. I hope that as they grow they’ll hold onto the God they were introduced to and His words of truth and His excellent rescue plan, better than all the Marvel plotlines.
I have said this before but I love that in unpacking these great truths for our children that there’s no need to belittle or dumb down. I love that they accept without layers and without hesitations, the power of prayer and the wisdom of scripture. That they know to speak truth to their hearts and minds when they cause them trouble, that we pray for our Mondays and lonely lunchtimes and annoying maths. That we honestly acknowledge that it can be really tricky to change our grumpy mindsets first thing in the morning and that we freely give this to Jesus.
And I love that there’s space made to address the deeper issues of faith, like getting our hearts right and trusting God with our ordinary everyday lives already.
As parents, we want our children to be confident in knowing that God loves them and hears them and is with them. In this way, Family Discipleship starts small.
Proverbs 22:6 (NIRV) is very encouraging, “Start children off on the right path. And even when they are old, they will not turn away from it.”
We are given this challenge and we get to start small, getting them on the right path, training them, teaching them, nudging them along, and mapping it out for them.
This illustrates intentional discipling with a future mindset. That there is something that is embedded and caught hold of, something not departed from, pointing in the right direction.
We start so that they don't turn away from it.
Paul reflects on this in the life of Timothy from 2 Timothy 1 v 5 - 6, “I remember your genuine faith, for you share the faith that first filled your grandmother Lois and your mother, Eunice. And I know that same faith continues strong in you. This is why I remind you to fan into flames the spiritual gift God gave you when I laid my hands on you.”
Timothy shares the same faith as his mother and grandmother. That’s where his faith started and his faith continues forward from this, strong and able to be fanned into flame.
In parenting we talk about setting boundaries as like creating a map. At home where things are safe and predictable, it’s easier to discuss scenarios and talk through what might happen, so that as the boundaries widen, and the child moves from playing in the back yard to playing at the local playground, they have already experienced some age-appropriate consequences and problem solving.
And in 2 Timothy 3:14-15 Paul writes, “But you must remain faithful to the things you have been taught. You know they are true, for you know you can trust those who taught you. You have been taught the holy Scriptures from childhood, and they have given you the wisdom to receive the salvation that comes by trusting in Christ Jesus.”
Timothy has been taught these truths at home by someone he trusts. He has been taught the Bible as a child and has grown into this wisdom and continues to grow as he trusts Jesus.
1 Samuel 3 shows Eli’s example to Samuel. The Lord had called out to Samuel twice and each time Samuel had thought it was Eli needing him. And each time Eli sent him back
At verse 7 it says that ‘Samuel did not yet know the Lord: The word of the Lord had not yet been revealed to him.’
And so from verse 8, after previously sending him back to bed each time, Eli realises something ‘The Lord called out for the third time. He said, “Samuel!” Samuel got up and went to Eli. He said, “Here I am. You called out to me.”
Then Eli realised that the Lord was calling the boy. So Eli told Samuel, “Go and lie down. If someone calls out to you again, say, ‘Speak, Lord. I’m listening.’ ” So Samuel went and lay down in his place. The Lord came and stood there. He called out, just as he had done the other times. He said, “Samuel! Samuel!” Then Samuel said, “Speak, for your servant is listening.”
This illustrates the power of the teachable moment. Eli disciples Samuel in the expectation of hearing from God, right in the moment, full of possibility. He doesn't minimise his experience but insteads models what to do with the opportunity, without doubt or fear or condescension. It is beautiful, active, and brave discipleship.
Let's teach our children how to pray with the expectation that they can hear from God, and with that all the ways He’ll speak to them.
Discipleship doesn't happen later, like a magical graduation where you flick the switch and it just works, it happens now, it needs to happen now, use the teachable moments, these will flow from your own discipleship, your own wrestling with ‘practising the way’ - and you might not always get it right each time, as Eli demonstrated.
It can be an intimidating term, discipling, but it’s just shepherding, guiding, teaching, showing - the very same thing that we do in all aspects of intentional parenting, intrinsic as manners, hygiene, values and safety.
Our borrowed definition of being a disciple applies to our children too:
Be with Jesus - prayer, listening to God time, creatively experiencing him in nature, art, fun, worship
Become like Jesus - Biblical Literacy, Scripture Memorisation
Do what Jesus did - kindness, praying for others, gratitude, giving, community
Remember this: The best faith experiences for kids are family warmth, friendships, traditions, and serving. They’re not extra or costly. Kids are engaged by stories. They are curious about the world, so build a family faith culture that follows their lead. Short, simple, fun and rich.
We run a marathon one mile at a time. Home is the best training ground for your child’s formation and their discipling needs your filter, your family culture, your fingerprints all over it. So think about what this looks like this week for your family in your language, around your dinner table. In your prayers. In your actions. Keep it simple. It might look like this:
“I know our hope is in God, so therefore we can trust Him with what we need. Let's ask him now to…” And then write this down and thank him later when you see His faithfulness.
Or you can choose to lean into the gorgeous ‘Lectio for Families’ resource available from 24-7 prayer at https://www.24-7prayer.com/resource/lectioforfamilies/ a free daily devotional that helps families to read the Bible and explore faith through conversation and prayer together.
Be encouraged, Bay Kids Whanau, as we mark Family Discipleship Email number 23 of our journey together that ‘beautiful fruit is formed through the ordinary faithfulness of parents and whanau who disciple in the quiet, the regular, the unseen, and the everyday.’
Arohanui
Charlotte Buxton
Children and Families Pastor
Manawa Ora Trust Team Leader
Bay Vineyard Church
charlotte@bayvineyardchurch.org